The World of Leonardo Morgado

"Ever get the feeling you’ve been cheated?" asked a sneering John Lydon of an audience during a Pistols gig.  It turned out to be one of the Pistols’ final gigs before their inevitable implosion and their inevitable reunion.

I am convinced that the same question is being asked by Premier Brown as he is attacked on all sides, as the once seemingly impenetrable New Labour fortress crumbles around him.  To be criticised constantly by the opposition leader is one thing.  To be harangued by a vapid, toffee nosed Billy Bunter look-alike is quite another.  Brown is probably thinking that Blair knew about the impending collapse of New Labour’s innings and hence the deft move from being the saviour of Britain to being the new messiah of the Middle East. 

Brown’s stoical demeanour has been reduced to a quivering bulk and all his attempts of defence in the form of attacks have utterly failed.  It appears to me that he has forgotten that he possesses a great weapon in his arsenal that he has, to the best of my knowledge, never used before and that is the fact that he has one eye.  Rest assured that I will not go into some rather distasteful trivialisation or mocking of people with (what I believe the accepted nomenclature is these days) disabilities.  On the contrary, I believe that Mister Brown has been too keen to hide the fact that he has one eye instead of being bold and rejoicing in that fact.

He should do away with the glass eye (a rather pitiful attempt to be the "norm") and instead adopt an eye patch.  The feelings of awe and admiration that would be created not only by Members of Parliament but also throughout the entire nation is something that I believe would occur instantaneously.  There is something totally trustworthy about an eye patch.  It gives the impression of a man that can withstand the greatest onslaught but still stand tall and fight on while lesser beings quiver and whimper in a corner.

Dave Cameron would be reduced to the emollient, vacuous child that I know him to be and Brown’s manful Scottish brogue together with the sheer physical dominance of his eye patch would ensure that all other leaders of all the other parties will give up all control to the majestic presence in front of them.  This may sound like the advocating of a dictatorship in this country but let’s be honest, what has democracy ever done for us?